Take it or leave it

At times people feel under pressure to act a certain way amongst peers they are familiar with, i.e friends within a particular academic institution, family, or even people within a working environment. A “certain way” refers to how different people act around their friends according to the situation. Everyone that I know has been in this situation where they are conforming to society’s playground of peer pressure. Why do we do this? We clearly know that we don’t act a particular way and yet we continue to do this, possibly to encourage a faster acceptance from our friends; if we act like them at least they can understand us a bit better. This is completely the wrong way to go about things. People need to start standing their ground and demanding that everyone understands them for who they truly are.

Here’s an example that refers to mainly guys on a western global scale, when they encounter females on a vibe where they want to engage in conversation, or try to take them home. There are three main types of this guy:

  1. Inanimate: This person knows exactly what he wants yet does not act upon the thought, so just lets it pass by. He says “Nah there’s no point, she won’t like me anyways
  2. Intra-animate: This person does not act on every situation and seems to be controlled on his selection of girls he wants to talk to. There is a logic to his process but this logic maybe seen as an inanimate nature from their peers.
  3. Extra-animate: This person is “Just on it”, gets straight to the point and either gets what he wants or doesn’t and keeps it moving.

Now baring all these things in mind I believe that an inanimate, intra-animate, and extra-animate person have interconnecting traits amongst each other. An inanimate person may possibly have all the skills needed in order to engage in conversation with a girl at an event, but may not have realised his potential based on the fear of rejection. Every man has been in this phase (or appeared to be), most notably at a younger age. Amongst friends they may say “Yeah I have done this and that” but friends can only take your word for it, your actions tell some individuals a million words. They need to exercise confidence in these situations to act because they truly have nothing to lose, you never know till you try.

An Intra-animate person will automatically be assumed to be a derivative from an inanimate person, this is not always the case. Most people start off being intra-animate (can be confused for inanimate at this point) but the right opportunity has not arose in their minds (remember opportunities are relative and subjective to the individual). There are times when this person wants to beg an “Extra-animate lifestyle” even though it is not for them. If you are this person DO NOT CONFORM. It just shows you are not comfortable in your own skin so you think by playing it this way you will be more successful. Depending on how you measure success is entirely up to you, an extra-animate person usually measures ultimate success with a girl as “I’ve scored with her” or something along those lines, and is able to handle the negations that transcend upon them. A truly intra-animate person can’t handle this for too long, if at all, so therefore get off the band wagon and be true to yourself. Rush things, and you’ll get rushed!

An extra-animate person may be seen as a “Player”, “Man-hore”, “P*ssy Monster” etc. They will go to any extent to get that girl and “pursue” whatever magical thing they want to pursue with her. They rack up a persona and character that is acknowledged amongst their friends, and to an extent some people respect them for this. Why do they yearn or even receive respect status? Well if you see it as they said they wanted something and got it then, fair enough, that is a good quality to have but for me it’s the act that is a little concerning, especially if it’s on a regular basis and possibly for negative intentions. I am not judging any one I am just inputting an observation that people can assess for themselves.

There is a slight problem with the extra-animate person as there are some that are not extra-animates but are in fact intra-animates, but exercise this characteristic or stage it to their friends because they have a falsified reputation that they feel they need to maintain when really they know they are not that kind of person. The worse thing is that people who perform this characteristic will feel guilty until the cows come home, but it’s something they want to  maintain, as everyone has a choice in life good or bad.

My point to all of this is, if you’re a subjected to socio-psychological pressure amongst your friends stand your ground! People will naturally respect you if you are more honest about yourself. There is no point acting a role because most people can smell rats from a mile away. People can read your actions and expressions, relative to what you say. If you’re honest and true to yourself then there is less chance of falling flat on your face because you are expressing the basal nature of yourself to people around you, there’s absolutely no room for error. With being true to yourself amongst others you develop natural social confidence. Anything seems achievable. You have to see it as this “I am who i am, take it or leave it”. If your friends can’t notice this then are they really friends? All they can do is encourage positive things for you to help you develop a trait you may not have, but not force or ridicule you for not being a certain way, or even worse, LIKE THEM.

You are you, and that’s something to your knowledge that you are 100% aware of, or at least experiencing. So go with what you know based on your experiences, that’s why we live, to learn and act accordingly to experiences. Otherwise what is the point of living if you allow rubbish to enter your life repeatedly?

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not, it doesn’t suit you. Stick to who you are.

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