Your Friends Need You! Try this with them

ByMichael Tabirade

The Power of Building Meaningful Connections

I hope you’ve had a great weekend so far! As a professional and a dedicated student of personal development, I’m naturally familiar with the Positive Psychology model developed by Dr. Martin Seligman:

  • Positive Emotion
  • Engagement (Flow state)
  • Meaning
  • Relationships
  • Achievement

I believe this model, combined with Daniel Goleman’s popularized breakdown of Emotional Intelligence, serves as an excellent foundation for human development.

Today, I want to focus on the “Relationships” aspect, particularly within the context of community.

Yesterday, I had a wonderful experience spending time with friends who did something quite special – we had a meetup. A group of seven young black men travelled across London to gather at my house, catch up, and enjoy a great vibe.

This positive atmosphere was cultivated through various activities:

  • Cooking and sharing good food
  • Engaging in discussions about manhood
  • Exploring ideas for a better future
  • Competing in games and banter
  • Motivating each other and creating a safe space

It was a fantastic gathering that highlighted the importance of maintaining a community that fosters fun, motivation, relatability, and psychological safety.

This gathering also underscored the fact that people within the group shared feelings centered around connection, isolation, and the sense of belonging.

Success isn’t solely measured in wealth; it’s also found in the realm of strong, meaningful connections that feel like family.

If you ever find yourself feeling isolated, it’s essential to identify the root causes of these feelings. Here are some questions that have helped me in the past:

  • Why do I feel isolated?
  • What can I do to feel more connected?
  • Who can I talk to about these feelings?
  • What steps can I take to reduce my sense of isolation?

Answering these questions and taking action can significantly help manage these feelings.

Here are some practical steps you can take:

  1. Reach out to someone, even if it feels a bit awkward.
  2. Remember and celebrate people’s birthdays.
  3. Ensure you have balanced, two-way communication.
  4. Plan and schedule group meetups every 2-6 months.
  5. Assess your friendships based on your values and review them quarterly.

These steps may seem simple or extensive, but they provide a framework for developing a community that minimizes feelings of isolation. It requires effort and the courage to step out of your comfort zone.

If you’re unsure where to start, consider the fifth action: ranking your friends based on your values. Your values guide your decisions, and aligning with people who share similar values can create strong connections.

However, it’s also important to recognize which values are positively serving you and which are destructive. If some friendships fall below a certain threshold, it may be necessary to reconsider their place in your circle or have open discussions to address any issues.

I’ve created several videos discussing friendships that may provide additional insights:

In a tech-focused, post-pandemic world, I encourage you to form deeper connections and put effort into maintaining your friendships. Success is wonderful, but it’s truly meaningful when accompanied by authentic human connections.

I hope this post has given you some valuable food for thought and actionable steps!

Stay awesome!

Kind regards,

Michael Tabirade

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