I think this post will apply to a lot of individuals who are currently in this situation, yet they may not out right see it as a problem, as it potentially could be. We all have good friends, good friends that are of the opposite sex, and for what ever reason you two became friends for a particular reason. What I question is, what is that reason that enables two people, or even one person to become friends with another person of the opposite sex. Now I know there are extremists to this topic that will say, “No I’m sorry, if you have a friend of the opposite sex then you like them”. It seems normally to be the case (in a stereotypical sense) that girls seem to be oblivious to the fact that their male friends may in fact secretly like them, but is it a case where they actually are not aware, or they are aware but are excusing the fact because they are comfortable with the relationship ? If it is the second case then those girls could be getting themselves into a sticky situation, especially if they are in a personal romantic relationship. Those females are potentially dangerous! People who do not act on knowledge can at times cause problems, just because things are left unsaid, it does not mean that it is sorted, it just means things are left unsaid. It is a case of being true, and understanding behind the basis of the “friendship” and seeing it for its genuinity and clarity. Not all opposite sex friendship are impure in that sense, there are very very genuine friendships where you both act like siblings, or cousins, or even confidants but if it started off with one of the friends saying “I like you” then the reason for the “friendship” is already tainted.
Type 1- These people profess and express their feelings and luv for you, but are rejected by you. Then to cover their pride and to remain a part of the one they admire they use the term “I don’t mind being your friend” or they wait for the one they like to say “We can still be friends”. That people, is code for “I’m going to be patient and hang around until you realise I’m good for you!! I will play the friends card for as long as it takes”. They will show you their true colours when you show interest in someone else. These people can be abnormally possessive, but not all of them. But then there are still others who are in it for the long term and will still remain quiet until they think the time is right. These people are not friends, they are fanatics. If you hold onto these people and mis-mash them around, then you could be in for a whole heap of trouble. In my opinion and with the utmost respect, it is well deserved if you eventually feel their wrath because you weren’t clear with them from the beginning (some can easily see it as “stringing them along”). If you’re not interested in them yet you haven’t made it clear and you have invited them to be your friend, don’t expect the world because they are holding expectations over you- and it ain’t friendship. People have feelings, and emotions and so they can’t just switch them off, well the majority cannot anyway; it’s part of who we are. The imagination embedded within an individual is so high, that one can hold what they think and dream to be real and true on the physical universe. Don’t even give them the opportunity to accumulate and believe their dreams, cut them off and be straight and real with them. Then you are trouble free. If you don’t, you’re an entertainer and you’re potentially looking for trouble depending on who the person is. The take home message is, be truthful and honest, do not lead anyone astray.
Type 2- This person will never, ever, ever, EVER tell you that they like you, but it is pretty damn obvious to many. There is not much you can do to this person because they have created comfortability with you in your friendship. Notice that I didn’t use speech marks for friendship, this is because this person does realise the true meaning of the friendship, yet even though they would like more and have imagined it, they would not change anything because it would change a lot and they realise that you are not where they are at. These people are not dangerous, yet can show jealousy if their friend is showing affection to someone else. Jealousy can be presented in so many ways, but if you notice a change that is in line with their friend showing affection to someone else, there is a possibility that they are acting or adapting due to the feeling of jealousy. If they do eventually tell you they like you even though it is very unlikely, then they automatically turn into type 1. But them turning into type 1 could be more dangerous, because their potential acting and patience is beyond type 1’s. They have had more time to think, and imagine and dream; anyone who holds anything up in their system will eventually explode and let it all out.
The take home message is that there are stalkers, possessive people, actors and compromisers, as well as people who are genuine, but you need to be able to realise who are true and who are false, for your own social security and possibly for the security of others. Keep it black and white, there is no grey.