Contractors! Your friends may treat you differently!

Introduction

Unfortunately, you can’t be telling everyone what you do and how much you make; you’re going to be misunderstood. In this newsletter article, I will be discussing the experience of friends treating you differently.

This is important because if you are new to this world, it will allow you to get to grips with the reality of how some people may respond to your career changes.

And the reality is, people get upset when they realise how uneducated and misguided their friends can be.

Let’s get started, and I will spill the beans!

They think you’re Pinocchio.

Transitioning into the contracting space is no small feat, especially if you were originally a career traditionalist. Even still, this achievement is not understood by many around you.

How you conduct yourself is crucial. In this newsletter I will be discussing:

First, they don’t believe in you.
Then they believe in you.
Now they think you are mega rich.

So, with that said, let’s get started!

First, they don’t believe in you.

If you are one to tell your friends and family your plans before they come to fruition, I would think twice…

There is an energy expenditure that exists when you release this information that cannot be channelled after you have expressed it. The nature of what happens to your plans very much depends on how much you say, their response to it, and your response to their response.

I previously published a video called: Don’t tell anyone about your goals. Here I will skirt around this concept.

Sharing your goals with others may reduce motivation and increase the chance of failure. A study published in Psychological Sciences in 2009 found that when people talk about their goals, they may feel like they’ve already accomplished something. The more people talk about their goals, the less motivation they have to actually achieve them.

A study found that law students who kept their goals to themselves were more likely to achieve them than those who shared them with others.

Coming back to contracting, it is not always good to tell people your plans according to this study. Some people will even make you feel like you are making a huge mistake! That’s even worse! You just don’t need that energy.

This does excuse construction criticism, but it does not excuse being attacked or being made to feel silly.

Of course, some of it is out of love, fear, lack of education or jealousy. You get to decide which one you think it is deep down, regardless of whether you can explain it or not.

If you don’t trust someone to support you, or communicate constructive criticism in the right way, stay well clear of those people and stick to your goal.

Then they believe in you.

Let’s imagine for a second, you’ve successfully been able to transition into the contracting space. It’s a great feeling, and for some, you may want to preach it to the rooftops.

You tell your friends who haven’t been the most supportive the great news, and they say things like: “Wow” or “I knew you could do it” or there is radio silence.

At this moment, they are truly confused. They don’t really understand what is happening.

Maybe you’re not in debt any more; if anything, you’ve cleared it (or starting to clear it rapidly) and things seem to be working well for you. Something is working.

Naturally they may slyly want to find out what you do and roughly how much you make. STOP! By all means, tell them what you do, BUT NEVER SAY WHAT YOU MAKE. Humility will save you here.

If you’re tempted to tell them, don’t.

As people learn more, they may feel different emotions like embarrassment, hurt, shock, jealousy and confusion. These emotions will vary from person to person. They either want in ASAP or act like they don’t.

How they treat you afterwards is everything…

Now they think you’re mega rich.

Over time, it’s pretty clear now that you make a good living. Your work schedule is different, and you complain less about money.

Now they have an idea of your money, they are less forgiving when it comes to expenses. This happens when it comes to events, birthdays, weddings and a bunch of stuff.

Their old morals, etiquette and understandings slowly chip away. They let you pay for things and have forgotten how to.

It’s not that they don’t have money, it’s that they don’t want to pay. After all, why should they lay into your lifestyle creep?

However, they do not know what you are spending your money on, and technically principles should always remain principles whether “riches” are involved or not.

The point is you should decide on how you spend your money, not them. So, make sure you shut up about the money you make and remain humble.

They might realize that your lifestyle is not the same as theirs, and trying to keep up with you would be too much for them. They will likely become overwhelmed and burnout.

Remember “Your Ye is not their Ye”, simple!

The key takeaways are:

First, they don’t believe in you because they don’t believe in themselves.
Then they believe in you because it is clear something is different.
Now they think you are mega rich and so the ill-treatment begins!

In summary.

Congratulate yourself for transitioning into this career, but whilst doing so be cautious about those around you. Some people celebrate you, whilst others relegate you. Decide who is for you and who is not.

The best way to decide is to say less, watch more and make your decision…

If you want, I can help you in the following 3 ways:

The Life Navigation System: A comprehensive guide on how to manage your life, helping you set goals, set routines and journal like a boss! Comes with a complete walkthrough video and Notion template!
Secure the Job: The step-by-step course that unveils systems, strategies and success when it comes to progressing your job and applying for new roles
The Independent Consultant UK: A guide to becoming a contractor in the UK. This is a step-by-step walkthrough of my experiences, hosting exclusive information to help you transition into the space of contracting.
Book a call: Let’s have a chat to focus on your life areas and where you can have the biggest impact. If it makes sense, we can progress towards procuring coaching or mentoring.